And

I think we both gravitate towards the broken.
People with entire cemeteries in their closets.
With bruised interiors and spotless exteriors.
Towards people that need us.

And I guess

maybe they need you more than I do
but it's hard to know someone likes everyone else
more than they like you,
when you like them more than you like everyone else.

Low on your priority list
I suppose it's fine.

And maybe if I liked her more
it wouldn't have been such an issue for me.

And I just want to fucking throw up at the idea of it.
Because of all of everybody everywhere,
it seems odd to me that it could happen.

And I'm stuck on this idea that you'll come around eventually.
Regardless of everything you've ever told me.

And there's this really sharp sort of jealousy tying up my insides.
wrapped around my rib cage.
breaking my bones and stopping my heart.

And the more I think about it
the worse it gets.

And I don't want to be around you anymore
but I couldn't last a day without you
and you just don't seem to get it
but you never did
and I don't want to worry about you seeing how I feel
because I want you to know
but I didn't want you to find out this way
and you said it was fine
and I was afraid I would push you away
but it seems that I'm  not the one pushing.

I don't mind not being there if you don't want me.
I just want to hear it honestly.

Because I'm tired of hurting over nothing.
and I'm tired of being less than something to you.

And unrequited whatever is like drinking hot water
or getting up for the day without having gone to bed the previous night.
Like cracked, bleeding fingers
and realizing that you're alone again after being  
so sure
that things would be different this time.

But I guess you sort of know that already.
At least you claim to.

Loving you is like rain on an otherwise nice day.
Or sitting and watching the sun set on the last day of summer.
Because it's the best and worst things about my life.

So I'm sorry I do this all the time.
and I'm sorry I can't just make it stop.
But thank you for it anyway.